Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
