she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My ATM looks so different sober.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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