I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
God, I missed his penis.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
