I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
