I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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