We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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