Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
