I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
