Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you will always have a special place in my vag
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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