I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
