Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
