Kiss
Puke
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
