Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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