We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
