I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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