i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
