Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
