Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
