It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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