Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
