My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Let's get the cat blown out
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
