Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
