I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
