I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
