He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
