Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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