Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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