If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
