i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
