i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
