Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
