The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
