Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
