I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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