Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
