I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
