you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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