I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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