Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
