he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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