Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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