Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize