Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
