I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this boner is exhausting
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
