I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
