We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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