So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
