Having a random hookup so left but love u
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
