you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
