our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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