And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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