My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
