It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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