its not stalking. its research.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
