Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
