i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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