we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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