At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
