it hurts more in the daytime
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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