hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
