Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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