I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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